Monday, December 31, 20072007 updateA whole year has passed since I set my resolutions, and I thought I'd go back and take a look at them and see how I did. So here is last year's stuff, posted on January 2nd, 2007.____________________________________________________________
I have nothing profound to say about the new year, except that I always want everything to start out clean and shiny, and put away, but I never quite get there. So I start the year disappointed. BUT not this year. I am going to be content with a half-way cleaned up apartment, and clean clothes that aren't put away yet.I don't usually do resolutions, but this year I am going to work on some things.
1. I'm going to work on not over-analyzing everything people say and do. It's too darn exhausting, and I'm tired of being that way.
2. I'm going to keep eating healthy. I read Ellen DeGeneres's resolutions, and she said to write ones like this. That I'll keep doing something that I'm already doing. I like that, so there it is.
3. I'm going to work on living unselfishly. I'm going to try to be what my friends need, and focus on that, rather than on what I need from them.I think that's all. That's weird that I ended at 3. I don't really like that number. Okay, here's 4.
4. I'm not going to let odd numbers, especially prime numbers, bother me as much. In fact, I'm tempted to write 3 more resolutions, but that would be way too many. Yep, it's bedtime for Angie!
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I did ok at 1, better than I ever have before. I'm not all the way there yet, but then again I'm human, and am allowed room for error.As for 2, I continued to eat healthy most of the time, and have a much healthier outloook on eating in general. I also started being more active by attending aerobic kickboxing classes. Not quite to hardbody status, but inconsistently working on it.Living unselfishly, I think I have a better grasp of what that looks like also. I'll be writing about that one more later, but I'm glad that was part of my resolutions.And sadly for odd numbers, I still struggle with that one. My friends know this and try to help, and it's not terrible, but if that's the thing I'm struggling with out of that list, that's ok with me.Now on to 2008...I'll have to resolve to write some later. :)

October 4, 2007

My nephew Ethan Malakai was born on Saturday, September 22. After many months of waiting, and counting the minutes, he finally appeared that morning. I don't have anything amazing to say, I still haven't taken time to think a lot about what happened, but I know he's beautiful, and I'm so proud of my sister. I'm sure I'll have more to say when I take time to stop snuggling with him long enough to write more.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

every sunday night during the school year for the last 3 years, i have been blessed to have a great group of high school girls come over. we eat brownies that sometimes don't taste much like brownies, we drink sickenly sweet red kool-aid, and we talk about life and God. We've talked about some pretty heavy topics.Tonight was our first night back together after the summer. I hadn't planned to do much, a lot of times they just need time to talk and catch up. If we had time, we'd continue on with the study we started last year. However, God showed up and had other plans.Since the first year of meeting, my girls have lit candles to signify they are ready to begin our time together. For Christmas last year one of the girls gave me this beautiful votive holder, it holds like 12 votives in a straight line. It's beautiful. During that first year, we read about Joshua leading the Israelites across the Jordan River, and how when all had crossed, 12 men went back to take a rock from the center of the river. They were going to stack up the stones so that whenever later generations asked what the rocks were for, the fathers would reply, those are from the Jordan River. God brought us across. We should always remember what God has done for us. That night we all took rocks and wrote things we needed to remember that God had done in our lives. It became the focus of many discussions, and was one of my favorite areas in my old apartment.Tonight I told the girls we needed to set up our altar. Since I moved, I haven't unpacked personal things, so this would be the first. They choose a location, and started unpacking the rocks. We realized that only 1 of the current girls was here when we first did that. She and I were overwhelmed with how much we've been through together in the last 3 years. I opened my Bible and read to them from Joshua about why we had this. We grabbed some more rocks and markers and started adding our own rocks to the altar. We realized we have so many things we need to remember that God has done in our lives.Not surprisingly, I had a conversation with a friend today about this very thing. He encouraged me to focus on what God has done in my life, not on what he hasn't done yet.I thought it was interesting that the whole focus of the evening became this very point. So I leave you with that. What do you have written on your stones? Do you need to stop and think a bit more about the stones making up your altar of thankfulness to God? Or like me, do you keep looking at those couple of rocks that don't have anything written on them yet? I took some time and added a few rocks tonight. I want to remember God's faithfulness so far in my life. This is the evidence that I have that he will remain faithful.

Sharing Pain

God wired me to share the pain of others. When someone I love or care about is hurting in any way, I actually feel it too. Is that strange? That my heart actually aches for them, that I shed tears, and am just completely sad. Right now I feel helpless in sharing the pain though, because I'm not sure if it even helps those people, or does it help, knowing that someone cares enough about you to feel it with you?

Adventure by DelMonico's

As most of you know, adventures just kind of find me. I'll give you a little background here. When I came home from Brazil, I decided to learn Portuguese. My friend Paulo said to ask some seminarians from Brazil studying in St. Louis to help. So I did. Michelle and I had breakfast with Andre yesterday. Is this man Andre you ask? Nope. This is Allen. He made a yummy pancake and egg breakfast for us, and then joined us at our table for some conversation. What was the conversation about? Allow me to share it with you:Allen, hand on the back of my chair, leans in and asks, "How was your breakfast? Would you like some pie, more coffee?"Angie replies with a smile ('cause her tummy is full and the coffee is awesome!), "Everything was great! We're going to come back for chicken and dumplings sometime."Allen, "That's on Wednesday."Angie, "We can do that before I go back to work."Allen, "You're a teacher?"Angie, "Yep"Allen takes the seat next to me and says, "Wow, you are really beautiful. Have you been to the Loop?"Through my eighty shades of red, I say, "Thank you. And yes I've been there."He leans back, then says again, "Girl, you are beautiful!" At this point, I'm slightly mortified. Michelle said I should be flattered, and I was, but at the same time, I have no idea what to do with this. He asks Andre to take our picture, he wants a picture of him with the prettiest girl. So he puts his arm around me. Harmless, right? Needless to say, he pulled me in super close, and apparently one picture just wasn't enough, so he asked for another. Then Allen took our picture together. He starts talking to Andre about soccer, then looks me up and down and asks if I play soccer. "Nope." "But you run, right?" "Nope." "You work out?" "Nope." "But you're willing to do it, right?" "Nope."After Allen our new friend walked away, Andre said he couldn't wait to see the picture of me with my boyfriend. Michelle and I were going to go back for chicken and dumplings, but we'll have to see.

The End

i just realized (ok, maybe i've known it before) that I don't like the ends of things. i don't like the end of a good book, or the end of a good series of books when there are no more. i don't like the end of july 4th because there are no more fireworks until next year. i don't like the end of the firewords, because again, there won't be anymore until next year. i don't like the end of an "era". it's emotional and sad in some ways. i don't like the end of a loaf of bread, or the end of a great trip or vacation.but i know, that when something ends, that means something new gets to begin. and strangely, the part that i dislike must happen in order for my favorite part to begin.

What's the Word for...

that thing that goes on your foot?" I'd ask a teammate. "Shoe?" they'd reply. "Yes!" I'd exclaim, so excited to have the word, and then realizing I should have had it the whole time! The joy of hearing Portuguese for a week! Let's see how good my English is right now.I just went back and reread the blog I wrote before I left, and I'm glad I had that to look at. Over the past 2 weeks God has definitely opened my eyes and given me peace about some things I've been praying about for a looonnnggg time, but for now, I'll share some of the things we did. I have a feeling this may be a several blog thing, so hang in there and check for new ones :)We arrived in Brazil on Thursday June 7 after many delayed flights, changing of planes, etc. We were so happy to finally land in Porto Alegre, and when we got there, our friends were waiting on the other side of the baggage area for us! We were so excited to see old friends and make some new ones. We went straight to the hotel to shower (yep, it had been about 36 hours since the last one, but who was counting?) and got ready for dinner. We ate at a churrascaria (maybe i didn't spell that right). The food was good and the entertainment was entertaining.Friday we spent unpacking our materials for the week and taking a tour of Pastor Claudio's congregations (he has 5). It was awesome to see the work that has been done at each of them since we were here last summer. That afternoon we prepared our supplies for the coming week and met our new translating friend Paulo. Coincidentally, Paulo spent time studying at Concordia Seminary in STL last year, but our paths didn't cross until Brazil. Friday night Michelle led a seminar for Sunday school teachers.Over the course of the next week, we presented our program of singing, puppets, and games to six groups of children. Each group had a great time. This year we focused more on smaller groups of kids. They so desperately need others to spend time and invest in them! We toured a flavella (slum area) and the schools that one man had the vision to build. These schools have changed lives and communities, giving these children an education and the hope that they can make a different life for themselves. We met a fourteen year old boy who helps care for his younger siblings and blind father. He has just received a scholarship to continue his education, and was talking about doing an exchange program to come to the US to study for a bit. All because one man followed what God was asking him to do. I was able to visit several second grade classrooms, and chat with some of the kids. I realized that second graders act the same regardless of geographical location or socioeconomic status. They are silly and friendly all over the place! And they are super willing to share Jesus with others. They told me they celebrate Christmas, and I replied with, "Yeah, Santa Claus comes." "NO!!! Jesus was born to take away our sins," they replied. They saw the twinkle in my eyes then, and we had a good laugh.I know this hasn't been full of my usual anecdotes and personal commentary. To be very honest, I don't think I'm ready to write that part. You see, during this trip, I realized that God had answered some of my prayers in ways I didn't see coming. I didn't realize that on that day before I left when I felt him literally pull me to my knees and beg for emotional stability to lead this trip, that He needed me right where I was, broken, and willing to seek Him without question. I had been asking God to remove fear from all areas of my life. I had been asking Him to give me peace about where I am and where I am going, and when He moves me, I am ready and at peace about it. Over the last several weeks, all of those prayers have been answered in ways that I can see, in ways that I didn't expect, and I am so thankful that joy has come in the morning!So give me a few more days to process (and practice my English!), and I'll post more soon.

June 5, 2007

I haven't been great at blogging recently. I haven't had the energy or time to share details here. But I'll give it a shot this morning...it'll ramble, so read at your own risk.I leave tomorrow (Wed. june 6) morning for Brazil. I have mixed feelings about leaving right now. Part of me wants to curl up in my bed and regain some emotional energy that's been spent in the past few weeks. Last week was the end of one of the most amazing school years ever. And I should be excited and thankful, and many other things that I really am not. I don't feel prepared for this trip. Physically, yes. Mentally, almost. Emotionally, nope. That leaves me anxious for what is about to be. But I have an amazing group of high schoolers who are going, and they are all so excited, and that is what carries me on right now.My nephew is growing every day. I went with Katie last week for another ultrasound, and he weighs about 1.7 pounds right now, still long and skinny. We saw his profile and the part that makes him a boy again. We also did the 4D part, but all he gave us was a leg. That's okay, it's a beautiful, perfect leg! We start Lamaze classes later this summer, which I am totally looking forward to. I'm just so blessed to be part of this with my sister!Mom and Dad are in Hawaii on a trip of a lifetime. Yesterday was Mom's birthday, and they went horseback riding. Something spooked the horse Mom was riding, and it threw her off. She landed on her wrist, foot, and ribs. All was okay except her foot, which has a shattered bone--broken in at least 4 places. She's in a soft cast until they come home, and then will see an orthopedic surgeon to see what needs to happen next. Let's trust God for no surgery! I'm just so thankful she's okay, and I can't help but thinking that God was saving her from something else on this trip by laying her up like this. Thanks God for knowing the best plan!My list of things to do today is growing by the second, and for some reason, I'm feeling like I need to actually, physically, be on my knees praying right now. So I'm wrapping this up, and I'm going to be obedient. Strange, I usually don't feel that need. I'll post something when I get home from Brazil. If you want to see what I'll be doing, check one of my first blogs. There's a link to a video, and you can see the places I'll be and some of the people I'll be with. God's peace, Angie

May 20, 2007

i really have nothing to say today. i had possibly one of the busiest weekends, and i should be super tired, but surprisingly, i'm not.I'm thanking God for a few things right now:1. for my friends near and far. for those i know really well, and those i'm just getting to know. i'm thankful that God holds each of them in the palm of his hand, and he loves them more than i do (hard to understand, but it's true)2. for my family3. for people who truly care about me, and show it.4. for getting to see God working in the lives of those around me.5. for my amazing class that i'm getting ready to say goodbye to.6. for the summer

In love!

Some of you are going to open this to read it and be super disappointed by the subject, but I have to tell you all, that I fell in love on Friday.I went to the doctor with my sister, and I saw the first pictures of my nephew. I heard his miraculous heart beating, I saw his little hands and feet, and yes, I saw his boy parts :) His spine is perfectly formed, each vertebrae where it should be. Even his ears are perfect.I haven't felt that swell in my heart for a long time, and I recognized it for the feeling of loving someone completely, instantly.I've kind of named the little guy already, we'll see if his mommy cooperates!

April 10, 2007

I'm listening to Rich Mullins right now, and the song that kept running through my mind last night was Hold Me Jesus, which is now on my page. I can't really talk about the stuff right now, but that's where I am, and I just keep crying out to God because I don't know what else to do.

Check up

Alright, it's time to check on the new year's resolutions.
1. I'm going to work on not over-analyzing everything people say and do. It's too darn exhausting, and I'm tired of being that way.Hmmm, can't say i've got that one finished. i'll keep on working on it.
2. I'm going to keep eating healthy. I read Ellen DeGeneres's resolutions, and she said to write ones like this. That I'll keep doing something that I'm already doing. I like that, so there it is.Check! (most days, anyway)
3. I'm going to work on living unselfishly. I'm going to try to be what my friends need, and focus on that, rather than on what I need from them.Wow, God really took this one and worked it big time in my world. I'm actually happier when I live this way...who woulda thunk it?
4. I'm not going to let odd numbers, especially prime numbers, bother me as much.I haven't had to think about this a whole bunch, except for my friend's tank. when he told me it's number 66, i declared it to be an okay number. i guess the army doesn't really need my stamp of approval for things like this, but i felt better...

Overcome

I clicked on my own profile this morning, and I scrolled down to see what my friends' pictures look like against the new background. (Yep, I care about stuff like that...) Then my song started playing, and I sat staring at my friends and listening to the words."Blessed be your name, in the land that is plentiful, where your streams of abundance flow, blessed be your name. And blessed be your name, when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be your name. Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise, and when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say...Blessed be the name of the Lord."I realized in that moment, how much God has truly blessed me through my friends. How I live in the land of plentiful with them every day. I am blessed abundantly, more than I could ever ask or imagine, through my friends. I remember walking through that seeming desert place of friendship in college. Now, I live in the abundance of God's provision of friends. Each one so very different, each one playing such a different role in my life, in my daily existence. Some of my friends are steady rocks, not saying much, but always always there. Others bring balance and sanity to my breathless world, and are willing to listen until their ears hurt, and then offer loving wisdom without ever judging. Others tell it like it is, and aren't afraid to tell me I'm being irrational, silly, whatever. And belive it or not, some of them are all of the above, depending on what I need from them, and knowing they'll give me exactly what I need. And when I thought about all these different aspects of my friendships, I realized that God has given me the perfect balance in all of them. Wow...needless to say, I'm suddenly in awe of my Creator God this morning, quite unexpectedly. Who am I that I should be so blessed? I guess I get to learn a lesson in God's infinite grace today. I'm going to post this, and then ponder that one for awhile.

Oh so proud!

There are a few times in my life that I can remember looking at my brother and thinking, 'Wow, I'm bursting with pride right now! I can't believe how blessed I am to have him in my life.'Well, now is one of those moments. I watched my baby brother eat a 1lb cheeseburger tonight. His graduation from college now pales in comparasion. Way to go little bro!

Did I (not) Shave My Legs for This?

Friday, February 2 was a day like any other. The joy of having a Happy Groundhog Day breakfast with my friend Michelle quickly faded when I arrived at school. I had been there for five minutes, happy tummy full of a bagel sandwich, great coffee, and bacon (yeah, I went all out...it WAS Groundog Day, after all...)So I took off my jacket and started writing the morning assignments on the board, when suddenly, there was a fire-ish pain in my lower abdomen that caused me to double over and not breathe. When it subsided slightly, I attempted to stand up, but couldn't straighten to my full height, so I shuffled over to my desk as the next pain hit. I sat down at my desk, but the pain would have none of the sitting, but trying to stand up just made things worse.With my face wincing in pain, my first student walked in and greeted me with a cheery hello. "Good morning," I replied with a forced smile.Over the next several hours (8-10:15) the pain progressively got worse. When my students come tell me their tummy hurts, I ask if they've tried going to the bathroom. I did that, and cried. I stood, I sat, I squatted, I leaned, but nothing helped, and by the time my friend Kristi came with her 4th graders for reading buddies, I was twisting and writhing in my chair. We played web doc and she decided it had to either be 1)gas 2)my appendix 3)a kidney stone or 4)something with an ovary, so she sent me to the school nurse, who made me lay day so she could listen to my bowels (apparently they were working fine, there were sounds in all 4 quadrants???). She asked me a few questions, and then said she wanted to call my doctor and try to get me in super fast, which she did. Cindy was amazing, and she drove me to the doctor, where my mom met me (because the school secretary Kathy had called her...am I seriously 29?) The doctor examined me and when I almost passed out from her pushing on my tummy and letting go, she said I had to go to the emergency room.Stay with me now. It was at this point, when she pushed on my stomach, that I suddenly realized, 'I can't go to the hospital...I can't wear one of those little gowns...I haven't shaved in over a week. It's been too cold, and I've been running too late in the morning.' So I blurt this information out, the doctor is cracking up, so is my mom, and I am mortified. The doctor said, "When you aren't in so much pain, you'll find this moment extremely funny." I do.Excuse me, where's Dr. Carter?So on to the hospital Mom took me. They were expecting Angela Coch, 30 year old female. Welp, that's not me I said. My mom said it was close enough, and I had to stay.I quickly glanced around the ER at St. Luke's, desperately hoping to find my favorite ER doctors and nurses on duty. Where was Dr. Carter? Did Nurse Hathaway have the day off? Was Luka Kovac going to rescue me? I think I was a bit delerious with pain at this point.Fast forward a few minutes...My dad arrived at the hospital to hang out, so we had the total party room. My nurse was hysterical, but I couldn't appreciate her humor much since laughing caused the pain to worsen exponentially.The doctor come in to examine me, to which I inform him, I haven't shaved my legs. Everyone laughed, since I had also warned both nurses of this as well. I didn't want anyone to be surprised...or think I didn't know it or something.The doctor said I needed a CT of my lower abdomen, since there are so many things that live in the lower right quadrant of your abdomen. He gave me a long list of possibilities, none of which sounded super appealing. They gave me some pain meds, which I asked them to only give me half, since my body really doesn't like foreign substances, so they did. Needless to say, the pain over the next hour went from a 7 or 8 to off the charts. Not sure why, but it did. I never once cried though. It would have made it worse.I had an interesting adventure with a bedpan, but I'll spare you the details. If you want the super funny story, just ask me.After my 2nd round of pain meds at 2:30, the nurse came at 2:50 to take me to the CT scan. The scanner guy was an attractive man, sadly so, since I was in so much pain, I couldn't even check his finger for a ring. He did the scan, and as he was helping me back up onto the super high gurney, I doubled over in pain from the movement. He then said, "Wow, you have beautiful eyes." Pause here.Okay, all I can think at this point is, "Dude, I haven't shaved in a week, I'm not wearing underwear, and this gown makes my butt cold, and as much as I'd like to pursue your delight with my eyes, I just can't." But what I said was, "Thank you." Ahh, the fairness of it all...So the doctor came back a few minutes (okay, 30 minutes) later and said I had a cyst in my ovary that had ruptured. All he could do was give me some pain meds and send me home to follow up with my doctor next week. I was so thankful it wasn't anything requiring surgery, and equally thankful it wasn't just a bad case of gas.So that was my super fun Groundhog Day. I spent time with family, was covered in prayers by friends at church and school, and learned that I can't always be in control of everything, even if I want to be. I hope this gave everyone a few laughs. Once the pain went away, I saw the humor in it all!!!! (okay, in most of it. :)